Spring is finally here, even though these last few days have felt like summer in April, it’s definitely here!! I love spring time. I love how everything comes back to life, flowers, grass, trees, and the songs of birds, even the bugs, hay fever and allergies. Most of us around this time of year do quite a bit of spring cleaning, whether it’s de-cluttering our house, changing out our wardrobes, as well as cleaning up and prepping the flower beds or vegetable garden for fresh plantings. This can also be the time when we re-evaluate outdated relationships.
During this life changing journey that I have been through this last year, I feel I have found my support group; my true group of friends and valued relationships that I want to have in my life. This group may consist of just a few people, but these are the people that have stood by me this last year. They have had to withstand hearing me bitch and moan about the scale not moving, how sore my body is, or how strict my diet needs to be. At the same time they are still offering support and motivation keeping me on track and not letting me lose focus of my goal. These are a group of people I have found that I can easily relate too.
For me to move on into my next phase of my life, I think it’s time for some “spring cleaning.” It’s time to get rid of, clean up and re-organize some past relationships. I am in no way insinuating that people are disposable or dispensable. I think all people are beautiful souls who are priceless. Remember that old saying, “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” It’s so true, but there can be an expiration date on friendships and eventually they can come to an end. I don’t want to say that some friendships aren’t worth fighting for, but if everything has been done to try and salvage it with no success, then the fight should end. Not everyone is meant to stay in our lives forever. I believe people come in and out of our lives just to teach us a life lesson and then move on. This is perfectly acceptable.
The one thing that initiated this “cleaning” is watching my best friend battle and continue to fight through Breast Cancer. We went through so many ups and downs and emotional events occurring and re-occurring. Even in her darkest moments, she never took anything for granted. When she cut her hair because it was falling out, or when it was completely lost for the first time, trying on wigs, sitting through multiple doctors’ appointments, radiation and chemo treatments, attempting to go on shopping trips with last minute cancellations because she was tired, she and I still had our bond. When the cancer was gone for a while, we rejoiced!! Thanking God for all that he had done. Recently, we found out that the cancer came back, which she fell into a huge state of depression. Feeling lost and not knowing what to do, I stepped back and let her be alone. After a while, she rose up out of it and didn’t let it bother her, at least on the outside. Right now, she is loving life and living it to the fullest. She amazes me every day with her strength and determination to live each day as if it was her last. Our relationship giving ratio is 50/50. It should always be that way and I love her for that. Throughout our 14 year friendship, times got busy; our lives changed with marriage, jobs, and kids. Sure there were times that we felt that we grew apart but we always were able relate back to each other, grow and progress with our relationship. This is what real friendships and relationships are all about. At some point, if we are no longer relating to one another, we have to let go, or find a way that we can relate.
I feel the ball is in my court and nobody is in charge, but me. It is best for me to shut that door and make room for others that are willing to be more balanced in the give-and-take approach and who I can relate to more and to learn and grow with. Some people might not think that this approach seems fair, but it is what it is. If they were ever a true friend, they would notice the change and try and overcome it. For those of you that I will be letting go, you probably won’t even know it, since we rarely talk now. Why fight for something that is not there? It's simply a memory. I will continue to send love and well-being from afar and please know that you were a part of my life for a reason or a season, but I am and will be committed to those who will hang throughout my lifetime! On to the next phase of my life…..
“A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely.” Pam Brown